The Things That Get Us Down
It never ever fails to surprise me how quickly my mood can pivot and plunge to the depths of hell. I don't have to do a thing...Just a fact situation can present itself and KABLOOEY!!!!!!!!! The pit in the stomach because I have to face something unpleasant and the mood swing is on. Now, I know that everyone is affected by this type of thing when they face an unpleasant situation; the difference is their mood swings are not really "mood swings".. What I mean is, they are affected during the time of the situation and then they recover and go on about their business. For those of us who are bipolar it is a different story. There is a swing of mood that hangs on after the immediate event...the event stays with us in a form of depression. Case in point...Not one of my brighter examples of motherhood...but my youngest daughter had been quite rude to a group of my brother's friends at a couple of gatherings at the house. I don't know what her problem is, but lately she has been acting in a "superior" manner, talking down to people, making fun of their life styles and politics. She certainly wasn't raised that way. I had to talk to her about her behavior and let her know that she couldn't come to parties and treat guests in that way. Her response was unacceptable. It was resolved that she wouldn't come anymore if the friends were here...she truly believes she is better than they are. I felt it my duty as a mother to speak to my daughter about her behavior. I am speechless about her attitude and embarrassed at her extreme lack of manners. I told her that she ought to look within herself if she was judging others and that she was in the wrong.
So for several days I have been in a general funk. Feeling like "where did I go wrong with this daughter? Where is she getting this 'I'm a successful 36 year old business woman and I can speak to people any way that I want to'?" We will be having a birthday party for my brother on next Saturday and that is the reason the conversation had to happen. The friends had said they would not come to get together here anymore if she was going to be here since she had been so hurtful and rude to them. I didn't want any of our friends to feel unwelcome here. I had to have the conversation with my daughter about her offensive behavior. I have called a mutual friend to tell him when inviting people to the party to let them know that his niece will not be here. The whole situation is very sad. But my daughter is in the wrong. Hopefully, she will mature and realize that we value people as human beings not for what they have or their politics.
But being bipolar, this has caused a full-blown mood swing. I'm having trouble fighting off the depression into which this necessary conversation threw me. I just want to go to bed and sleep. I have good friends which have taken me out of the house to lunch and have come over and kept me company. I have made myself work on chalking a ceramic nativity set and work on the internet. Maybe when I go shopping for my brother's birthday on Wednesday and get involved with our friend John in planning the party, I will pull out of this depression. or maybe extra fish oil??? ha-ha
1 comment:
It's so true: for us, something feather-light skims the surface of the water and the ripples run deep. And when it's something that carries more weight, those ripples run into unseen and unforeseen places.
I know I'd be wondering the same things as you, my friend, but you didn't "go wrong". She's a grown adult and is completely responsible for how she conducts herself. She's been forming her own opinions since she as 3 or 4 years old. At her age now, she is 100% responsible for her behaviour and the repercussions that behaviour holds. She must miss the birthday party. And she will find out eventually that she is just like everyone else. Unfortunately, such a fall of her own pedestal usually brings some bruises, whenever it may eventually happen.
On the bright side, your dear brother is having a celebration and you're to be a part. Try to have fun with it.
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