ARE YOU TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR TREATMENT?

I am going through a rapid cycling episode for six weeks now or even longer. I have lost count.
The week before last culminated in fullblown mania. I'm now sure how I managed to keep myself under control as much as I did. The situation was bad. Brother out of the country. Daughters out of communication on vacation. Close friend away at famil funeral. I did a little financial damage. I've cleaned it up. Tried to get myself involved in a business from home; buy a car; applied for various credit cards and loans and almost completed enrollment in a Masters Program. I was to say the least, very busy. I couldn't reach my pdoc. The office is all out of the office until this coming Monday. The answering service said they would have someone call me, but no such phone call came. I did, however, have a moment of sanity when it occurred to me...could have been one of the voices I heard in fact...that the last time this happened, my pdoc put me on Abilify. Did I have any? When the depression set in last winter, we discontinued it...I checked my medicine supply cabinet. Hallelujah!!!!! I had enough to take until the pdoc returned.

Now I can hear you saying --No, no no....don't prescribe for yourself...get thee to a doctor. Well, my faith in most pdoc is very thin. I've seen quite a few of them since 1993. The one I see now is the FIRST.....I repeat, FIRST, pdoc to keep me out of the hospital...for five years. And he has a philosophy of treatment that goes: educate the patient to understand how bipolar works; how the drugs work; what is happening. so the patient has an active role in his treatment...."because I may not always be here".

I'm not going to some other doctor who doesn't know my history, what meds I've taken, how I've reacted to them, what has worked, what has been bad, etc. and let him toss a coin in the air. I already have more information than he does. And I'm bettin' my pdoc isn't going to be too upset with my choice of action. Especially since it seems to be working.

I need to thank a couple of friends out there for their kind words and warnings. I never felt so alone as I did two weeks ago.