EUGENE - MY FATHER

I can see all this in his eyes, those boundless deep brown eyes. It's like gazing in a pool to meet his glance. His age, beginning to show, his eyes have never changed. They still SPEAK !! Sometimes it is difficult to explain to others the relationship which we have. We are close although we have always been apart and he has not handled his responsibility to me. No attempt to insure I know who my father is and that part of me therefore. His theory that Mom saw I had a (step)father and he didn't want to mess it up is so much bull shit and I have told him so. There is room in people's lives for a mom and a dad's second families.. I believe this....At 55 I came to my peace with him and he knows what I think. But he had to hear the truth from me. This was the only lady the man could not charm with his persuasion.

But we understand each other and why it happened as it did. We are both bipolar. We can feel it in each other: the exuberance, the love of life and people, thought, human possibility, the music and family. But we also know the music of the night, the melancholy.